(insert Rocky Theme here ) ..... Training for a baby

I went to the dr this morning with the intention of starting round 2 of trying to have another baby, but ended up leaving with a totally diffrent goal !!

I have PCOS and with that I gain weight easily and have a hard time losing it. So since 2002 when I started seeing my fertility specialist I have gained a total of 46 lbs !! Yes I did have 2 pregnancies in that time period but I only gained 10 lbs with the triplets ( I only made it to 25 weeks 5 days) and about 6 or 7 with Aubrey ( born @ 38 weeks). That's alot of weight especially since I gained 10 of those lbs in the past 9 months !!! Hello FATTY GIRL !!! Put the ding dong down !!!

Mike & I talked to Dr. Schenk this morning and it started off with us talking about my past cycles with the fertility drugs and then Mike asked what has changed since I got pregnant with Aubrey in 2007 ? Dr. Schenk could only answer with 2 things. 1. age - I was 28 when I got pregnant and had Aubrey ( turned 29 only 4 days after she was born) 2. weight- I weigh about 16lbs more now that I did AFTER I had Aubrey. She then told me if I lost 35 lbs I would have a much better chance to get pregnant again. She told me to take 3 months off and get the weight off and come back and we can do it again and it should be much easier on my and my pregnancy to lose the weight because right now I am at risk for gestetional diabetes (sp?) like I had when pregnant with Aubrey. I DON'T WANT THAT AGAIN !!!

So now for a brief period this blog is going to be mostly about my journey to lose 35lbs so I can have another baby. The only reason I am going to continue to blog about this weight lose is because I need the support of my friends and family to help me because I know this is going to be so hard !!! I am very embarrassed to say this but my weight right now is ..... 232 lbs !!! HOLY CRAP !! How did I get so fat ?? o' yeah I LOVE TO EAT and not healthy food ... I love comfort food, snacks , candy, junk that is not good for me.

I want to do this the right way with exercise and eating healthy. I don't want to take any diet pills or do any fad diets because I think I will just gain the weight back once I get pregnant again. Mike is my biggest cheerleader because he wants his wife to be healthy for our future child and for the 2 daughters that are here watching how we treat our bodies. He has always been in shape and now he is doing the p90x workout so he is getting that much better.

I don't want to be the fat girl with the smokin hot husband anymore so by June 1, 2010 I AM GOING TO WEIGH 197 lbs !!!

~ Nichole

Round 2 ..........

My nurse just called me and I have an appointment tomorrow morning @ 9:30am to start over.
I'm not ready to quit this journey yet so here we go again !!!

~Nichole

Ironic...

This morning I got up knowing that it has been 2 weeks since my iui and hoping my pregnancy test would be positive but ........ it was a big fat negitive staring back at me. :(
I decided I was going to call my nurse and still go in for my bloodwork because they told me to do it. I called her @ 8:45am and then was waiting for her to call back when guess who decided to come visit me ........ MY STUPID PERIOD !!! Really ?? How come it came today of all days when I am suppose to find out I am pregnant ? What is so ironic about it is that I NEVER have periods without drugs 2 months in a row and I did this time. I don't know how to feel anymore. Should we continue on our journey to have another baby or just be blessed with the children we already have ? I know that God has a plan for us, I just wish he would tell us what it is ..... or is he telling us now and I'm just not listening ??

~Nichole

Mixed emotions ....

My 2 week waiting period is almost over ..... only 3 more days !! It seems like this pregnancy or the possibility of actually being pregnant again is scary and exciting at the same time. I am so excited because we want another child so bad but scary because I don't want to dissapoint everyone if it didn't work.

My mom is watching a 3 month old baby during the day and everyday I see how awesome Aubrey would be as a big sister. She is so caring and such a big helper. She loves to hold her "Baby Shelby" and rock, feed and burp her. She reminds me of myself. I have always wanted to be a mom and all my kids are so wonderful and I'm excited I'm a real mommy now.

I think about all the time how diffrent our live will be with a baby in the house. Our daughters have been the center of our world for so long it will be neat to see how we function with another little one. Aubrey is our baby but she is 2 years & 3 months already and very independent. She talks in complete sentences, she can say her abc's and can count to 11. She is almost potty trained also. Our baby is a big girl now. Shelby on the other hand is almost 12 going on 16 !! She is "finding out who she is" and lord please help us have the patience we need when dealing with a hormonal pre-teen !! She is such a beatiful little girl who loves to draw and expermint with fasion. She is definatly becoming her own person. She has her own opinons and views on everything and of course she knows so much more than we do ... lol !!! Britanee is almost 18 and is about to graduate high school. She is also deciding what to do with her life. She is no longer a child but is becoming a women. Our challenge with her is trying to get her to realize that after she graduates her life is going to begin and no one will able to live it for her.

It's kinda exciting knowing we are going to start over again and I am praying for great news .........

~Nichole

Day 17 .... the final appointment

This morning @ 8:45am I got my iui. You can read about what that is here : http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/iui.html. My nurse Cathi did the procedure on me & it was fairly painless but I did have alittle cramping when she was done. She put in 41 MILLION active healthy sperm !! Hopefully at least one of them can find that egg !! So now we are in the 2 week waiting period to see if it worked & I am pregnant !!! Mike & I talked last night about how exciting it is going to be with another baby in the house. Twin boys is what we want but we picked a boy name & a girl name. our little boy will be Dalton Michael or our little girls's name will be Madalyn Hope.

Today's cost :
Sperm wash - $ 215
iui- $165
parking - $3
-------------------------
total - $ 383

Complete Journey cost -
January 8- $ 60
January 20- $198
January 26- $87
February 1- $578.98
February 3- $383.98
February 5- $275.99
February 8- $ 383
----------------------------
drum roll please .... $2,159.95

So..... I will take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks & hopefully it will be positive & we will have a little baby in October/November.
~Nichole

6th & FINAL scan ....Day 14

I finally have a follicle that is an 18 !!! YEAH OVARIES !!! So tonight was my last night to take all my shots ... YEAH AGAIN !!! Tomorrow I have 1 more shot to take called ovidril which is suppose to make my ovaries ovulate my eggs within 72 hours. Monday morning Mike & I will both go to the dr and I will have an IUI done. This is where they wash his sperm and get only the best of the best and then they will put those swimmers directly into my uterus so they don't have far to travel so they can attach and start growing my babies !! This is the first time we decided to do the IUI, the other 2 pregnancies were concieved the old fashioned way ... lol !!! Today was also the last day the bloodsuckers got food from me again !! I am so excited that i have about 2 weeks & 3 days to find out I am going to have another baby !! It's very surreal this journey we are on and I am so very blessed !!!

Today's bill:
Bloodwork- $180
medicine- $92.99
parking - $3.00
----------------------
$275.99

total journey :
January 8- $60
January 20- $ 198
January 26- $87
January 28- $193
February 1- $578.98
February 3- $383.98
February 5th- $275.99
-------------------------
drumroll please .... $1776.95

Please keep us in your prayers !! My appointment is @ 8:30am Monday morning.
~Nichole

5th scan ............ Day 12 of our journey

Great news when I went to the dr Wednesday !! I have 3 follicles that are big enough to measure. They are measuring a 10,11 & 14 !!! Go ovaries grow baby grow !!! But now I also have another shot to add to my daily medicine routine. So if you lost count I have to do 3 shots & 6 pills a day all to have a baby !!!! The blood suckers wanted more food so of course I had more bloodwork done. The lining of my uterus is at a 9 also whicj is good according to Cathi. I go back Friday morning to get another scan ......... pray for big follicles 18 or above is what we want !!

I haven't mentioned her yet but I have a friend that works in the same building as me that has helped me out so much not only by GIVING me hundreds of dollars in medicine for this pregnancy, but she was one of the 1st people I told I was pregnant with the triplets & was so excited she took the ultrasound all over the store showing them off. She was also there for me when they all passed away by calling me while I was in the hospital to let me know she was praying for me during my time of loss and yet again she was there for me & excited about my pregnancy with Aubrey. She has become such a great spirtial friend over the past years by reminding me that GOD is in control and it is he who knows what will happen to us. Sandy ... THANK YOU so much for EVERYTHING you have done for me through our journey to have kids. I can't wait to meet Serenity & Trinity !! They have the most amazing parents and I'm so blessed to have you as my friend !!

Ok ..... back to the totals for today :
bloodwork - $180
medicine -$199.98
parking -$4.00
--------------------------
total- $383.98

journey total so far :
January 8th- $60
January 2oth- $198
January 26th- $87
Jauary 28th- $193
February 1st- $578.98
February 3rd- $383.98
-----------------------------
grand total - $1500.96

~Nichole

4th scan .... Day 10 of our journey

I went back to the dr today for yet another scan to see how my follicles are growing and got some good news. I hae one follicle that is measuring @ 13. ( the have to be 18 to be big enough to fertilize) I had several smaller ones that weren't measureable so the dr gave me a medicine that comes in the form of another shot called ganirelix so I don't ovulate that egg to early. OMG !! That shot hurt so bad when I took it I thought I was going to cry. Mike made fun of me but he's a big meany !! I also had to up the dose of follistium to 175 iu's so the little follicles can catch up. Once again I had the blood suckers get more blood and I am really starting not to like them very much. My hands are bruised as well as my tummy where I give my self the shots.

totals for today:
scan- $195
blood work - $ 180
Medicine- $199.98
parking- $4
---------------------
total - $578.98 WOW !! that's alot for just 1 day !!!

Grand totals For the complete Journey:

January 8- $ 60
January 20- $198
January 26- $87
January 28- $ 193
February 1- $578.98
-------------------------
total - $ 1,106.98

I pray that these follicles grow big and when I go back on Wednesday they will be mature so I can start the shot to ovulate and then get pregnant . I can't wait for the day I get to see the 2 lines on the pregnancy test and know our babies are on their way !!!

~Nichole