Monday, May 10, 2010

this sucks !!!

I am so sad right now .... The agency we signed up for called me today to tell me that we aren't eligible to foster/adopt because of Mike's criminal record !! (nothing major but stupid enough to have them deny us ) I am so mad right now and I feel like devil is winning this journey at the moment. I know God is in control but really ?!? All we want is to add to our family and can't catch a break. IS this God telling me that we are complete the way we are ?

This news comes at a time where I am having my own struggles within myself... I really want to stay home with my kids but I've been @ the same job for 13 years !!! and i make decent money so it will have to be a complete lifestyle change in order for me to do that but I am willing to scarifice that in order to be there for my kids ... You know when you were a little girl & you dreamed about what you were going to be when you grew up ?? Well I always dreamed about being a mom... strange ?? yes I know but I always knew that I wanted to have kids & get married ... those are my dreams & now that I am happily married to the man of my dreams & have those daughters I always wanted I just want to be there for them !!! I feel like I am missing out of my baby girl doing so much cause I have to work. They are only small for such a short time and I want to enjoy it. I can go back to work when they grow up & move out !!! Lol !! So now I am trying to figure out how to make my dreams come true .............

Devil - Your not gonna win cause I believe that God will take care of me & my family so can you please go away now ???

~Nichole